![]() But in this case, the door lock was broken and the only thing I hate worse than my wife telling me to stop cutting my toenails with a pair of diagonal wire-cutters is having someone walk in on me while I am taking a ****. Now, normally I would have gone to the handicapped stall since I like to stretch out a bit when I take a good ****. Upon entering, I saw two sinks immediately inside the door, two urinals just to the right of the sinks, and two toilet stalls against the back wall. I got up from the table and made my way to the bathroom. It's amazing how grease can make its way through your intestines far faster than the food which spawned the grease to begin with, but I digress. After a minute or so it was clear that I was dealing with explosive diarrhea. At first I thought it was only gas, which could have been passed in batches right at the table without too much concern. At the same time, the downward pressure was building. There was so much pressure on my diaphragm that I was having trouble breathing. ![]() By the time I had eaten four overwhelmed plates of food, I was in real trouble. I had not really been feeling well all day, what with a bit of gas and such. Plate after plate of macaroni and beef were consumed that evening, I tell you - in all, four heaping plates of the pseudo-Italian ambrosia were shoved into my belly. We went through the line and placed our orders for the all-you-can-eat hot bar then sat down as far away from the front of the restaurant as possible in order to keep the density of kids down a bit. ![]() It may seem that the events about to be told have little connection to those two circumstances, but all will be clear in a moment. Wednesday night is also kid's night at Ryan's, complete with Dizzy the Clown wandering from table to table entertaining the little *******s. It was a Wednesday night which means that macaroni and beef was on the hot bar, indeed the only night of the week that it is served. A couple of weeks ago we decided to cruise out to Ryan's Steakhouse for dinner. Now, I know that there is a lot of fabrication on HROT and am aware that a small number of things are total BS, but I have a story to tell that is the absolute truth.įunniest damn thing that has ever happened to me. ![]()
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